EP48 - Scrum master
High-growth tech companies are very expensive.
They could easily go up to 20x revenue if their growth is high.
Its stock price is inflated by Wall Street and YC as a "growth premium."
Unlike Mark Zuckerberg with billions to spare, I cannot afford such a premium.
I need a new way to find undervalued deals, or make one myself.
First, I find a way to get my agents on the board. Then, I unleash the consultants.
The ones armed with holistic governance, psychometrics, sociometrics, Agile workshops with 6 Sigma Jujutsu Kaizen Kanban Framework.
I dont think they understand.
With my consultants, the company's mission is no longer to ship product.
It's to achieve Level 5 certification in bureaucratic excellence.
Productive engineers start spending their days justifying their existence in Jira.
The company doesn't lose money, it just stops moving forward.
That's enough. The growth narrative already evaporated.
Wall Street, now sees only a stagnant present, stops paying a premium for the future.
The stock price went from 20x revenue to 0.3x book. That's when I make my offer.
I acquire a portfolio of high-value assets, capital goods, and "mismanaged" IP, temporarily trapped in a cage of good intentions, all for 99.7% off.
All I need to do later is to fire everyone and unlock its fair shareholder value.
Follow me for more financial advice.
Context
I didn't get it when I was still a SWE in a tech company until I notice my Scrum master was recruited right at the top of my company's valuation.
I also learned that the BoD sold their stakes, and how much the company was devalued a year after I quit.
Well done to whoever was trying to acquire the company. Either you got very lucky with your timing, or if I actually bothered looking for your accounting and portfolio filings, I would notice your connection to the guy who runs the scrum consulting company and your acquisition history.